Self-BDSM: How to Play BDSM Solo (Safely)

Spoiler: BDSM doesn’t need a partner. Self-BDSM (or solo play) means exploring domination, intense sensations and control... with yourself. Here are safe ideas to get started, with one rule above all others: since you’re alone, you provide the safety.

1. Ice, Your Favourite Timer

A classic solo-play trick: grab an ice cube and turn it into a countdown. For example, hold a position (or endure some gentle clamps, or whatever you’re doing) until the ice melts. You can also run it over your skin to play with the cold.

And since our platinum silicone withstands temperature, you can chill or warm your toy (a few minutes in the fridge or in lukewarm water) before using it: the sensation changes completely. We explain why it can take it in the materials guide.

2. Hands-Free: Feel “Used” Without a Partner

This is where the trick of mounting a suction cup dildo on the wall, the floor or the shower and moving on it yourself comes in. It’s the simplest way to add that feeling of surrender to solo play. We go deeper in our hands-free play guide.

3. Sensory Deprivation (Yes, On Your Own Too)

Blindfold yourself. When you switch off sight, touch, cold or the texture of the silicone all skyrocket. It’s a very easy way to raise the intensity without buying anything new.

4. Be Your Own Dom: Set Yourself Rules

Part of the fun of BDSM is control, and you can exercise it over yourself. Set yourself small challenges or “orders”: timings, positions, waiting before... you know what we mean. A dice app on your phone and six written-down challenges turn the session into a game.

5. Solo Safety (This Is NOT Optional)

Since there’s nobody to hit the brakes, you are your own safety net:

• If you play with restraints, never tie yourself in a way you can’t get out of and keep blunt-tip scissors within reach.
• Nothing that compromises breathing and no pressure on the neck. Full stop.
• Stay hydrated and don’t overdo cold or heat on the skin.

6. Don’t Skip Your Own Aftercare

Aftercare applies to you too. When you finish: a blanket, water, something tasty and a while of calm. The body releases a lot of intensity and the “come-down” is felt just the same even when you play alone.

Your Starter Kit

For self-BDSM, a versatile platinum silicone piece is your best ally: a dildo with a suction cup base for hands-free play, or a Huevo del Fuego if anal is your thing. And if you want to brush up on the basics, stop by our soft BDSM guide.

Content for over-18s. Always play safely and consensually — yourself included.